Apostrophe abuse
Let’s face it, we’ve all seen apostrophes abused in horrible ways. (And no, Susan, I’m not referring to the time you stole one.)
But this sign in my local chippie (aimed at the schoolkids who swarm there at lunchtimes) set my mind wandering:
HAND’S OFF WINDOW’S PLEASE
Which of these might be a valid interpretation?
- the off window of hand is please (if it weren’t for the last word being please instead of pleasing, that sentence might almost make sense)
- hand is off the please which belongs to window
Anyone got any other suggestions? (I didn’t manage to figure out any more before my chips were ready.)
Comments
Comment from Susan
Time Thursday December 11 2008 at 2:53 pm
“They” meaning the sign writers of course…not the schoolchildren.
(a hanging pronoun in a comment fussing about language… d’oh!!)
Susan´s last post: There Once Was A Girl Called Miss Muffet…
Comment from Elle
Time Friday December 12 2008 at 11:12 am
Ouch.
I believe it’s perfectly acceptable to carry around a marker pen and/or Tipp-ex for occasions like these!
Elle´s last post: Do you lie about reading?
Comment from Catherine
Time Saturday December 13 2008 at 4:30 pm
Susan, I thought the ‘they’ was obvious from context, so I really wouldn’t worry. 
And Elle: damn right it is! Although I couldn’t figure out how I could have crossed out these apostrophes without making them more prominent. And white correction fluid on neon pink card would’ve been a bit weird too.
Maybe next time I go up the chippie, I should just quietly replace their sign with a properly=punctuated one of my own.
Comment from Elle
Time Saturday December 13 2008 at 4:39 pm
Hmm – neon pink nailpolish could work in that case! Or, you could just replace it with one of your own! :0)
Elle´s last post: Do you lie about reading?
Comment from Susan
Time Thursday December 11 2008 at 2:50 pm
Is the hand’s off window any relation to Adam’s off ox? Hmmm..you’re right, that one could almost be a candidate for Engrish.com.
Hmm. The second one could make sense, too, in that the word “please” is written on a sign affixed to the window, thus /giving/ it to the window, in which case, there being no hands on the window at the time of reading, it would certainly make sense.
(huh?)
I’m wondering if the chippie hasn’t found a sneakily effective way to enforce their ban: the children become so engaged in trying to work out possible meanings, or in outright ridicule of the sign, that they completely forget to smear their handprints all over the window.
One hopes.
Otherwise, they should be sued for exposing schoolchildren to such disgraceful language.
Susan´s last post: There Once Was A Girl Called Miss Muffet…